Off to Grandmother's house we go

This Memorial day weekend we went to San Angelo to visit Kemper's side of the family. It was our first out of town visit since Baby K was born. I practically packed up his entire nursery,and then we were on our way. The trip was a four hour drive, so I fed him right before we left and he slept the entire way!(we were not so lucky on the way home)
It was a nice relaxing weekend, we didn't do much but just enjoy each others company and pass Baby K around. Mommy and Daddy were able to get some much needed rest because Kemper's Mother and her husband Bill had night shift duty and took care of Baby K. They changed him and rocked him to sleep each night and just brought him to me when it was time to feed. It was wonderful because my child doesn't care much for sleeping at night!
While we were in San Angelo Baby K had another ABR done. Ironically his Grandmother works at a rehabilitation center that deals with hearing impaired children and they run these quite frequently and she was able to get us in. Unfortunately the results were the same, severe to profound hearing loss. Amazingly I didn't even cry, but after a month of crying I think I was all cried out. I knew the results would be the same but there was still a hope in me that they would be better. At least we were able to get some closure since the test was run by someone we knew and trusted.
In all it was a wonderful relaxing weekend. I am very fortunate to have married into such a wonderful family which always makes our visits fun.

Great Grandmother Mary Joy

PaPa Bill

MeMe Janie

Baby K Having his ABR done

My heart is broken

After a great debate with myself I have decided to make this post. On Monday we took Baby Kemper to have a follow up hearing test since he failed his hearing screens at the hospital. He had an ABR ( Auditory brain stem response) which is a neurological test, where they introduce a noise to see if his brain has any reaction so they can test his hearing levels. They had me take him in a soundproof booth and they attached electrodes to his fore head and ears all while he was sleeping peacefully. I sat next to him and held his little hands and head so that he would not move in order to get an accurate reading. His father and my mother sat across from us waiting patiently. The test did not take long, about thirty minutes. When it was finished the audiologist confirmed my worst fears and told us there was "no response" Our darling little boy has a severe to possibly a profound hearing loss. My heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest. All I could think was WHY? WHY? WHY?!! I still want to know why, but that is something we may never know. Right now we are struggling trying to understand the situation. We are looking to God for help and support yet we are so angry with him at the same time. I know in the end we will all get through this but right now the hurt has taken over and we feel like we are in a fog watching the world continue as we stand still. I know there are alot of new technological advancements in medicine and options for little Kemper, so there is a little glimmer of hope. We will raise Kemper without treating him differently we just hope the world will do the same. Please pray for our little boy.