potty humor

 Potty training- The good, the bad, and the funny...        oh and the TMI ;)

The one thing I know for certain is that my child has a mind of his own. He is a stubborn little guy and everything is done on his terms.  Sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, eating, you name it.  He does things when the timing is right for him, not for me or anyone else. So when it came to potty training I decided to take the laid back approach. I waited for him to tell me. Besides I'm kinda sick of all the "mompetition" out there and I didn't feel the need to have my child completely potty  trained by age two.

Around 2.5 K started showing signs that he was ready. He would go for hours and hours with a dry diaper and he would wake up in the morning and naps with a dry diaper. I knew this was our chance. Time for the reward system. I immediately sent my husband on a hunt for a small candy machine and some Pull Ups.  He came back with a really nice candy machine courtesy of Craigslist. I filled them up with M&M's and the rest was history. He was all about using the potty and getting a penny to put in the machine to get his candy. It didn't take him long to start asking to go on his own and now most of the time he doesn't even ask for a penny afterwards.

Here area few Quotes from Kemper during his potty training that had us laughing:

- While helping K use a public restroom K yells out to me " Momma thanks for holding my penis!"

- " Watch me turn the water on." as he turns a pretend knob with his hand, and you know the rest. Such a boy.

-  Upon seeing his daddy in boxer briefs  "oh daddy I like your pull ups!!"

So just when we thought this potty training stuff was going to be easy we got to the poo poo department. K has no interest in this area at all. M&M's are a joke when it comes to poo poo in the potty.  I needed a better bribe so I had to bring out the toys. Dollar store toys taped to the bathroom mirror, but unfortunately  they didn't work. He wasn't impressed. I even busted out the big dogs and got him a Jake and the Neverland Pirate ship. No go, but I did over hear him tell his father "Daddy if you go poo poo in the potty I'll give you a big surprise!" I can just see the wheels turning in his head "I'll just make daddy go and then he will get the toy and I can play with it too!" Smart kid.

 The poor kid is so conflicted. He knows he's not supposed to go in his pants but is too scared to go in the potty. He just holds it resulting in a serious poo traffic jam. Just for the record 6 days no poop +Miralax +prunes + warm bathtub = disaster!!  We have tried just about everything to convince him not to be scared. He will sit on the potty for what feels like forever just struggling and crying to hold it in. He eventually loses the battle due to the Miralax I've spiked in all his drinks. The whole process has been torture for us both.   If anyone has any suggestions on how to ease my child's fear of poopin' in the potty please share!!

A few more K  quotes during our experience:

Not sure why my child feels the need to use every public toilet while we are out but he likes to label them all too..
"Oh I like the restaurant potty! Oh this is the Target potty. Oh this is the Circus potty...

Once I could tell that he had not  finished doing his business he told me "It's a little poo poo, like Kemper. I'll do a big one for you later. "

And the one that all mothers want to hear:
"Momma I went poo poo, now clean my butt!"

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